Student supper revisited

Remember what you used to eat as a student? I'm thinking of the concoction of greasy tinned tuna and sweetcorn mixed with a ration of Hellman's. Well, this evening I was suffering from Friday syndrome, staring aimlessly into the cupboard and desperately trying to resist the pull of the slightly-above-average Indian takeaway over the road, when I was suddenly taken with inspiration to re-create it. Well, sort of. The tuna was in spring water. The sweetcorn tin had some suspiciously old-fashioned Safeway packaging and closer inspection revealed "Best before September 2002". And the mayonnaise was some fancy fresh stuff made by "Delouis Fils", from Waitrose (the kind of thing you see on the shelf in the supermarket and think "Who the hell's going to buy that?". My wife, that's who.) Testing my "all sell-by dates are bollocks" bravado to the limit, I ploughed on regardless, also adding other random things that previously seemed destined for a slow death in the fridge - what I could salvage from half a red onion, the juice of half a lemon, a couple of cold potatoes and some crumbly Kirkham's Lancashire cheese, plus salt and pepper and a few torn leaves of basil from the garden. I scoffed a whole mound of the stuff, with some lettuce (also straight from the ground) and a couple of sliced tomatoes. Fantastic. And 4 hours later, I feel fine...fingers crossed for tomorrow!